I believe the door of homosexuality was opened up to me at an early
age. It started with spoken words. I was labeled a tomboy and a daddy’s
girl. My mom did not realize what she was doing when she would call
me a tomboy all the time and that I should have been a boy.
Spoken words are powerful.
The seeds were planted. They started growing in my mind. I started acting
more like a boy. I never wanted to wear a dress. Family members voiced
their opinion that I would become a lesbian.
Spoken words are powerful.
I found myself becoming attracted to female members of my family and
other women around me. The seeds were being watered.
As a young child I never really felt like I belonged.
Childhood was very difficult for me.
School was difficult for me so in the 6th grade I was placed into a
special education class for the slow kids. I felt ashamed, dumb and
I could not understand why this was happening to me. Part of me knew
that I was smart inside but I was not strong enough to fight so I just
went along with it. I attended 6th through 11th grades of school in
special education. That does not give you a good sense of self worth.
A caring counselor finally recognized that I was not slow but that I
simply had dyslexia. I was dyslectic Not slow! I attended regular High
school in my 12th grade and did just fine academically but my self image
and self worth where damaged. I made it thru the high school years on
the very edge mentally.
After high school I moved to Atlanta and met people who accepted me
for me and did not judge me. I finally felt like somebody. That is when
the full homosexual lifestyle came out of me.
The lifestyle temporarily felt like it filled all the voids in my life.
I was also involved with cocaine and alcohol. These were the devils
tools to make it easier to experience and except this lifestyle as normal.
I was more of the dominate partner in my relationships with women.
All we ever did was party, more cocaine, more alcohol, more clubs, night
after night after night. I can remember being in the clubs feeling like
I was still tormented on the inside. I would always talk to God even
when I was high. I would plead with God that if this is wrong please
take it away from me! But I kept going in the lifestyle for many years,
and many women.
Looking back I could see that God has always had his hand on me even
when I did not think he did. About 5 years ago I finally started to
feel God begin to move in my life. I started to go to church. I started
to build a relationship with God right where I was in the middle of
my mess. I started to talk to him about all my mess, the lifestyle,
the drugs, and the alcohol. Even while I was in the middle of doing
them I would talk to God.
God did show up in my life one day and supernaturally delivered me from
the cocaine and alcohol. He had removed a 20 year struggle out of my
life. I have no desire to go back to those things again.
God also delivered me supernaturally out of the homosexual lifestyle
through the`awesome power of daily prayer. I have no desire to be with
a female ever again.
I feel The Holy Spirit moving in me to run to God and to run for God
in this ministry. In fact sometimes in Church when the Holy Spirits
presence is really strong I just run.
The first time I ran in church it surprised me. I was standing up
worshiping and I just took a step into the isle and the urge to run
came over me and it felt like a warmth just race through my body.
I just started running and crying and it felt like a great release
of stuff falling off me. It could be described as a freedom run, up
and down the isles in a Spirit led run.
I did not know it at the time but it was a deliverance run. Since
then I have run many times in Church as the Holy Spirit would lead.
Many times people would say that they wished they could run too. They
would feel the Holy Spirit as I ran by and felt that things were being
released in them too. I would tell them to just run, get behind me
and just run for Jesus.
One time a man in a wheelchair told me after service that he felt
as if I was running for him. Thank you God.
When I go to Church it is not just so that I can survive another week.
I am not concerned about who sees me or what people think of me. I
go specifically looking for my next breakthrough and my next level
through praise and worship. I prepare all week by spending time with
the Lord and ministering to others as The Holy Spirit would lead me.
I go to Church expecting a new annointing, a new level of understanding
in Jesus and what he did and is doing for me and how to best use the
Spiritual Gifts God is developing in me.
I know in my heart that He pulled me out for His purpose. He has given
me the courage not be afraid to share my testimony with others. He
is equipping me with a hunger to help bring others out of the homosexual
lifestyle and into God’s chosen plan for their lives.
He is opening doors that I would not have believed could have been
open to me in the natural. He is building a team of people with specialized
talents to help with this ministry. I can see God at work with His
people and it is exciting!
God wants us to have a deep personal relationship with him, not just
to have good attendance at a local church building. You have to meet
God on your face on the floor. Talk to Him even in the middle of all
your mess. He will answer a pure heart. Just be real with God. He
already knows what you need. He is waiting to set you free from this
bondage of hell. He came to set the captives free. And I want to help
you become free. In Jesus name, Amen.
love you more, a servant of God , Miriam
Note: A personal relationship with God is your key to unlock the door
to your freedom. Just be real right where you are. He will hear your
I want you to start your prayers down and with a pure heart. He will
hear and answer you!
can pray in any position. I prayed in all positions but I got my breakthrough
when I got face down on the floor. This is a total surrender position,
He knows you mean it. He will hear you and set you free!